I Almost Gave Up.

I was this close to quitting last week.

My soul was feeling heavy. I was tired, angry, and heartbroken. America had let me down, again.

I thought, “What is even the point of writing about society and its ills if it seems like it’s not working? Who cares?” I started thinking that no matter how much I wrote or tried to educate others, it wouldn’t change how broken America is. “Why bother?” I thought.

Thankfully, a thing “seeming” one way is just a transient state. Oftentimes, it’s not even the whole story. Remember the adage of how planting a seed doesn’t mean you get the harvest right away. It takes days, weeks, and even months of seeing nothing happen on the surface, but below ground, a whole series of changes are happening. Those changes come to the surface only when the time is right.

Two days ago, I read a thread written by someone who said they made contact with the spirits of enslaved people who resided in the Nottoway Plantation, the plantation that caught fire earlier this year. She claimed that they told her about their silent rebellions and sacrifices to keep each other and themselves safe.

“Silent rebelling is just as important as aggressively loud rebellion,” she wrote. “Each one had a role. Our ancestors said DO NOT OVERLOOK THE SMALL SACRIFICES!”

It led me back to what I’ve thought about myself and the work I do. Sometimes, writing feels thankless. It is easy to compare myself to others who are further along in their online stardom due to their writing and media presence. It can seem like others have everything figured out and that I don’t matter.

But I had to remember that everyone matters in this fight against fascism, racism, sexism, and any other detriment to society. Every word, every piece of art, every speech, and every conversation matters. Small moments lead to the significant movements that get recited in the history books. My work is part of that shift.

Your work is part of that shift, too. Perhaps you got bogged down by life like I did. You might have also thought it’s easier to give up, or to think you don’t have anything to contribute. But that’s when we let the other side win. We can’t believe we don’t matter, because that’s what they want us to do. Knowing your own worth isn’t just mentally healthy; it’s also a radical stance against evil. It’s a daily practice that can prepare us for the rough fight ahead.

Just as I had to remember that I am meaningful to this fight, I want you to remember your worth as well. We all matter in this journey towards a better country and a better tomorrow. You’re allowed to feel weary, angry, sad, and tired. You’re allowed to rest and check out for a while. But none of us who want a better world are allowed to quit. We are the heroes we are looking for, and we can win. You, like me, are necessary and meaningful. You can’t forget that, and neither can I.